notes:† This is dedicated to my grandfather.† He passed away at the beginning of February 2002, and I actually started this then, I just didnít get around to finishing it right away.† During his life he was ďone of those dreamersĒ that Duo talked about; he was the lead test engineer on the lunar orbiter, that first mapped the moon, as well as working on the Apollo and Gemini missions.† He was one of the worldís great men, and I loved him very much.
I was born in outer space.† Itís not really ďouterĒ anymore, if I think about it.† The inhabited world, like the real physical universe, keep on expanding, and our perception of it gets smaller and smaller.† I sprawl on my back on the cargo deck of Howardís ship to watch the moon.† It amases me, fascinates me, the way the moon looks from here.† It looks too serene and ancient to be the home to mobile suit factories and war bases, even though I know theyíre there.† It looks so close and so dauntingly far away, even though I was even farther away only a few days ago.
My first thought is about Heero, that boy I rescued yesterday.† The jerk who ripped parts off my buddy Deathscythe.† Iím not sure why Iím not more pissed, why I donít want to kill him for thatómaybe Iím going soft or something.† Maybe Iím just glad thereís somebody else out there fighting my same fight.† Guess it doesnít matter.† He did what he felt he needed to do.† Still, I wonder if he sees the sky the same way I do, if he stares up in wonder at the huge black velvet blanket that wraps us all up in it and thinks oh my God, just /look/ at it.† Because heís from the colonies, like I am, and now that I can see the moon from Earth, I wonder if we arenít missing something, up there.† Something even more profound than freedom and politics and all that other stuff weíre fighting for.† Not that itís not profound too, but thisóit transcends humanity, I think.† It almost makes me believe in God again.
It makes me wonder how we got here.† I havenít had much in the way of education, especially not in things like history.† So I donít know when, or who it was, who first looked up at the moon, and all those stars glittering, and said ďI want to go there.† And I think I can.Ē
I donít know who he was, but Iím thinking of him now.† I can still imagine what may not be fact.
What a magnificent undertaking it must have been!† What inspiration must have driven it is mind-bending.† I imagine they started small:† ďletís fly,Ē the sayd, and began to build themselves wings.
And when that was perfected, and they could fly, they wanted to go higher.† ďLetís touch the clouds!Ē they said; I think they must have been dreaming of it since they were children.† Did I, when I was little, ever try to touch the sky?† I canít remember.† I hope I did.
But someone, a long time ago, must have tried, and kept on trying.† The love of space, the longing for the sky, must have kept on burning even after it was only a dream to most people.
I think about how fantastically heady it must have been when they finally made it.† Imagine!† The first time anyone really made it into space!† The first time they saw the moon up close, or floated in zero-g, or looked down at the Earth from space and saw it the way I am so used to seeing it!
I donít think, somehow, that they expected this.† They were romantics, Iím sure of it, and I donít think they meant for the division, the war, the hatred.† I think if they could see what weíve done to their sky, that theyíd be heartbroken.† I imagine them glowing with adventure, pouring all their childhood dreams into engineering equations, building great flying machines from nothing but caffeine and inspiration.
I think they loved the moon.† I donít think they would like the war-factory we have made her into.
And I guess that if we can really pull off peace between Earth and the colonies, that weíd be closer to honouring those old dreamers, and what they really intended.† They set off to have adventures, to explore, to stretch their wings as far as they could go.
The moon stares down at me, silent, ancient.† Around the ship, the sea is her voice.† They are talking about the past, I think.† Of things the human race is just too young to understand.
Itís a pretty heavy order, peace.† But I hate to let anybody down, especially the people whose lifeís work paved the way for my home.
I remember you, I whisper, just in case their spirits can hear me.
And I promise Iíll try.