Heart, Mind, Body





~all around you

go to ground you

wrap me round you

falling down~


The obsession was getting out of hand.


It had begun simply enough--just a crush, barely worth mentioning, certainly not worth admitting.  He'd chalked it up to the surge of adrenaline, a traitorous hormone that always made the body desire what was not necessarily good for it.  Or he blamed curiosity--Duo's eyes were such an intoxicating shade of violet, after all, why wouldn't he want to look at them?  And what red-blooded creature wouldn't feel their knees go a little weak at that dazzling, multi-faceted grin?


Then Heero had fed his obsession by trying to quell it.  Training had kicked in and reminded him that he was a soldier who worked alone and had no need for emotional attachments.  The rest of Heero's brain, backed by his body and heart, thought that was just plain stupid.  The training reminded him that he could be killed, captured, or even required to eliminate Duo at any time.  The rest of Heero thought the first two were irrelevant to whether he enjoyed himself in the meantime, and the last was a fairly ridiculous fabrication meant to throw him off-guard.  Orders notwithstanding, Heero thought that with odds of 5 against Umpteen-thousand, the good guys had better things to do than kill each other off.


So the training reminded Heero that Duo, too, could be killed or captured at any time.  Heero, without realising that he was breaking the rules of internal dialogue by speaking aloud, growled, "Over my dead body," and gave himself the Death Glare in the mirror.


But it wasn't really anything worth dwelling on.  Just a harmless--innocent, even--little crush.  Barely even an infatuation.


It was easy to believe that when he rescued Duo from an Oz prison, and when he nursed him through a scattering of broken ribs and a minor concussion.  It was even possible when he found himself staying awake at night to study the myriad expressions that crossed the braided boy's slumbering face.  Believing it had become reflex by the time he fell asleep fantasizing about vivid purple eyes and a soft curtain of unbound chestnut hair.


But positioning his computer right in the spot where he could watch Duo getting in the shower, reflected in the laptop's screen--even Heero was having problems with his denial.  The training was good, all right, but not strong enough to defeat the combined forces of mind, body, and heart.


Especially body, which seemed to be the de facto leader of this little rebellion.


~I'll protect you

I'll infect you

Disrespect you



It was hard to keep his mind on typing.  He wasn't actually writing or programming anything, but the noise of his fingers on the keys let Duo think he was working.  The alternative, he'd discovered, was to talk to Duo.


It wasn't a bad idea in theory.  He wanted to talk to Duo.  Desperately.  So desperately that when he tried to start a conversation, he found himself staring at Duo's mouth, distracted by mental images of all the other things that mouth could be doing, and his body would tighten like the sex-deprived teenage boy he was, and then he'd end up having to pretend whatever Duo had said was incredibly stupid just to cover up for not having registered a single word.


Heero was fairly certain that Duo was actually quite intelligent.  He just wasn't sure, because he'd never managed to listen all the way through one of the boy's long running monologues.  So he hurt Duo's feelings to hide his own, and he hated hurting Duo, so he finally came to the conclusion it was just easier not to talk to him at all.


So he spied on him in the shower instead.


He felt bad about violating Duo's privacy.  He did.  He just couldn't look away.  He'd tried once, but it was like the connection between brain and body had been severed.  Brain said "Don't look!" and body, if it listened at all, responded with "He'll never know!  Besides, you never let me do anything else fun!"


And when it came down to it, that was logic brain couldn't argue with, so it sat back and enjoyed the show too.  Brain was exceedingly easy to silence with images of naked Duo.


And Duo, Heero could see from the reflection in the screen, was naked now.  Naked and wet.  His lithe, glistening body stretched toward the ceiling, his back arched, head thrown back under the shower spray as he rinsed the suds from that wet, dark mass of hair.


Heero, mentally thanking the gods of Spandex for making it such stretchy stuff, forgot all about pretending to type.  Actually he forgot about the computer, turning in his chair to watch the display through the bathroom door.


Drool was probably bad for his laptop anyway.


Steam filled the bathroom, obscuring the beautiful body inside, even without the benefit of a shower curtain.  An artful, tantalising outline of Duo's body, the curve of muscle and the line of his back, captivated Heero more thoroughly than even a less-obstructed view would have done.  His hand, again without the formality of consulting his brain, slid downward to rub across the bulge in his shorts.  The forced admission of his own arousal made him wince, but the evidence was impossible to deny.  It clouded his thoughts, erased his resistance, flooded his body as his own touch grew rougher.  Duo, God...do you know?  Do you have any idea what you do to me?  What I want to do to you?  The euphoric haze of sex, of wanting sex, diminished his consciousness to anything but Duo, unwittingly soaping himself in the shower, and the increasing needs of his own body.


And then--far too soon, the still-coherent segment of Heero's mind managed to think--the show was over.  Duo bent down to turn off the water, making Heero constrict even further at the tempting curve of Duo's--he needed to stop thinking that.  He needed to look away, cover all traces of his voyeurism before Duo finished drying himself off and combing that luscious hair and stepped out of the bathroom with the worn towel wrapped around his waist--


Too late.


~Sunlight browned you

desperate, crowned you

there I found you

falling down~


"Heero," Duo asked neutrally, "why are you staring at me?"


The question was innocent enough, but Heero was completely incapable of forming an answer.  Droplets of water clung to Duo's smooth skin, glistening in the dying sunlight filtered through the cracked and dusty windowpane.  Sibilant shadows toyed with his graceful figure, swirling erotic patterns over the lines and hollows of wiry muscles.  And his hair--thick and damp, an entity in and of itself, cascaded over his shoulders like a living cloak and coiled against his skin.


Thought, speech, will, breath--all departed Heero's suddenly hollow body, abandoning him to clenched hands and a vacant stare.


A moment of worry flickered in Duo's vivid eyes, but quickly it was wiped away, erased by the dazzling Shinigami smile that did nothing to restore Heero's fumbling coherency.  "I haven't grown horns or anything, have I?  Or a tail?"  He dropped a corner of the towel as he twisted, theatrically checking for the absence of said extra appendage, and Heero heard a strangled noise force its way from his own throat.


Duo looked back at him, that trace of concern in his eyes again.  "Heero?  Are you sure you're okay?"


Heero tried to force his head up and down in some semblance of a nod.  The motion seemed to satisfy Duo, who shrugged and turned away to dig his clothes up off the floor.  He let the towel drop, and Heero, rewarded with a breathtaking expanse of naked skin, felt dizzy as what little blood remained in his head vacated and rushed madly for his groin.


"Heero," said Duo mildly, straightening as he shook the folds out of his black pants, "you're making me a bit nervous staring at me like that.  I keep wondering if you're waiting for something to explode.  Is there something you need?"


Heero's brain, talking a long-awaited holiday to roll around in the proverbial gutter, applied an entirely different meaning to 'need' and 'explode' than the context Duo had intended.


"Heero?  I said, do you want something?"  Duo was tugging on his boxers, half turned away from Heero, glancing at him over his shoulder.


"You," said Heero's body, taking advantage of the temporary absence of his brain.


Duo's eyebrows shot up, and his body froze.  "What?"


Heero's body conferred quickly with his few remaining braincells.  Duo didn't sound angry, they decided.  More like disbelieving.  Definitely confused.  So before he could think better of his hasty outburst, he repeated, "You.  I want you."


Heero had made a vocation, over the past several months, of learning all the nuances of Duo's varying expressions.  This one was completely new--eyes wide, mouth gaping in surprise.  He filed it away under the heading "stunned."  It was, like all Duo's expressions, a particularly attractive one.  Brain was down for the count.


And it was such a shame to  waste his open mouth like that.


In two strides, Heero had abandoned his chair and crossed the dingy bedroom to seize Duo's shoulders and pull him close, claiming his startled lips in a rough kiss.


~Purify you

Sanctify you

I defy you--

not a sound~


Duo's mouth was soft and yielding, and Heero plundered it viciously.  He pulled Duo's body against him, felt the smooth damp skin through his clothes, reveled in the sudden pounding of Duo's heart against his chest.  This was what he wanted!  An eternity of Duo, strong, smooth, beautiful Duo, captured in his arms.  Wanton desire pulsed through his body and he ground against Duo, his fingers twining a handful of soft chestnut hair.


"Hee-Heero--"  Duo pushed him back, gasping for breath, fingers pressing in disbelief against his bruised lips.  "Heero--what are you doing?"


"I want you!"  Heero repeated, frustration making his voice crack.  He wanted Duo in his arms again.  The simplicity of his desire was overwhelming--body had evicted everything else, except possibly heart, and taken firm control of Heero Yuy.  And he'd been close enough during the kiss to notice the violet-eyed boy's body, at least, was not opposed to his actions.  Duo,  after all, was only wearing boxer shorts.


"Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my Heero?" Duo demanded, trying to make a joke out of the situation and failing as his voice faltered.


Heero thought the phrase had a nice ring to it.   "I am Your Heero," he promised, reaching for Duo again.


The boy known as  Shinigami swallowed visibly, his stance shifting as he attempted to hide the effect Heero's words had on him.  "Oh."  It came out more like a squeak.


Heero pulled him close again, burying his face in the hollow of Duo's neck, spreading eager kisses across the flushed damp skin.  He felt Duo's erection press against his thigh, felt Duo's head fall back as a stunned, eager moan left his lips.


Heero slid his hand behind Duo's neck, tilting the elven face upward to crush their lips together.  An answering moan set his nerves aflame as Duo's tongue plundered the depths of his mouth.  He fumbled with the elastic waistband of Duo's boxers--it should have been such a simple task, but how was he supposed to accomplish anything with the world spinning like it was?


He heard the thin fabric rip, and yanked it away in frustration.  There--that was much better, body decided in satisfaction.  A very naked, very turned-on Duo, pressed flush against him, gasping into a kiss.  His hand caressed the curve of Duo's ass, rocking against his body.


"Heero--"  Duo wondered breathlessly, trembling as he rested his head for a moment on Heero's shoulder.  "Why are you--where did this come fr--OH!"  His question broke off in a strangled cry as Heero's hand encircled his eager manhood and jerked lightly.  "God--Heero--" he fumbled ineffectually at Heero's tank top.  "You're wearing too many damn clothes."


'Why' was apparently no longer important.


Heero reluctantly let go of Duo long enough to shed his clothes and drop them in a rumpled heap on the floor.  The sensation of skin against skin, when he reached for Duo again, was electrifying.  "Duo--" The name left his lips in an unwilling exhalation into the other boy's hair.


He sank to his knees, running his hands down the length of Duo's long, toned legs, drawing a wet trail down Duo's chest and stomach with his tongue.  "Heero--" He heard his name gasped as his partner realised his intentions and tangled his fingers in Heero's short dark hair.


Heero had fantasised about doing this for far too long not to take his time and enjoy it.  He approached Duo's swollen member, his tongue flicking at the tip, then swirling around its edge in a slow circle.  He heard Duo moan, felt trembling fingers clenching in his hair and his own arousal straining upward.  He dove for Duo's erection greedily, swallowing him whole, ignoring the reflex to gag til it had passed and he could move again.  Encouraged by a litany of wordless moans  and the soft pressure of the hands urging his head downward, he bobbed his head slowly up and down, swirling his tongue against the throbbing flesh that writhed in his mouth.  He licked a forming drop from the tip, and Duo, shaking, pulled reluctantly away.


"Heero," he said, having some difficulty forming the words between ragged gasps, "that's--oh God--but if you don't let me at least sit down, I'm gonna pass out."


Heero felt a smirk twisting his face.  "Good?" he asked hopefully, and was rewarded by a frantic nod.


"God, yes!"  Duo half-staggered backward to the bed and tumbled back onto it.  Never one to let an opportunity slip by, Heero scrambled on top of him.


For the space of several syncopated heartbeats, he could do nothing but stare.   Was it true?  Was every fantasy he'd ever indulged in about Duo Maxwell going to be fulfilled tonight?  His heart, reaffirming its presence, clenched in his chest.  The boy was radiant.  The starlight had replaced the fading sun and shone in incandescent sprinkles across ethereal skin, his half-closed eyes smoldered with suppressed passion, his long drying hair splayed out around his sculpted body and coiled around his elven face with a life of its own.  Heero crouched above him, sliding his hands down the length of soft skin--how could a soldier have such skin? he wondered, before the thought faded into oblivion with its fellows.  Duo's hips bucked under him, reaching for him, yearning, his head thrown back against the sheets.  Heero wrapped his fingers around that weeping shaft and practiced coaxing the desperate moans and whimpers that slipped from Duo's parted lips. 


He wanted more.  He wanted to claim this beautiful body for his own, to merge til there was nothing left between them.  Asking for it, though, petrified him.  "Duo," he whispered, bending close to interrupt himself with a searing kiss to Duo's lips.  "I want--please--"


Duo's fingers clenched against his back, his body arching under Heero's as an inarticulate moan of longing left his mouth.  "Anything.  Anything.  Heero--oh God--"


Hearing those words, and the hunger in Duo's voice as he breathed them, sent Heero perilously close to tumbling over the edge of ecstasy himself.   Still, he could scarcely believe them.  His fantasies were all going to come true--well, maybe not all, but all the big ones, and there'd be room for experimentation later.  "Are you sure?  I want--Duo, I want to be in you--"


Duo's response was to thrust fervently against him, cutting off his words with a kiss that rocked the foundations of his soul.  Yes, it was down there somewhere too.  The world spun, and he was dizzy, his fingers found purchase in tangles of damp chestnut hair and he pushed off of Duo with a desperate growl.


Duo handing him plastic tube was all a blur, as was fumbling with the cap that refused at first to come off, or where exactly it had come from.  None of this was of interest to Heero.  He coated his hands, his straining erection, and more of Duo than was probably necessary, but he was addicted to the noises he elicited wherever his fingers roamed.


He crawled between Duo's legs, his body trembling with lustful anticipation.  Duo, an erotic half-smile mingling with ecstasy on his face, hooked his legs over Heero's shoulders and pulled him forward. 


Caught in the spell of those intoxicating violet eyes, Heero was no longer certain who--if in fact either of them--was the aggressor any longer.  Truthfully, he wasn't sure of anything--except that he wanted Duo--desperately, and NOW.


~I astound you

I unwound you

Lost and found you



The exhilaration of slowly entering Duo, of melting their bodies together, the tight warmth surrounding and pressing and swallowing him, was beyond imagination.  Heero bit back a cry, hovering, balanced on his hands above his beautiful love, quivering as he drowned in sensations that twirled his mind like a bizarre dream.


He felt Duo's fingers brush his face, and stroke across his lips.  "You all right?" the long-haired boy asked, that half-smile still gracing his fey features, his brilliant eyes shining.  When Heero nodded, he covered a light laugh in a lingering kiss.  "It's even better when you move," he prompted gently.


Had Heero not been so blissfully unconnected with his brain, he might have blushed.  He didn't.  He responded to the tenderly-spoken hint and pulled out, slowly, til they were barely connected.


No--no, he didn't like that at all.  Must be in Duo.


But thrusting back in--oh, God.  Much better.  Must do that again.  Must do that a lot.


Rhythm came to him, in time, and speed as well.  Duo rocked against his eager movements as Heero pounded into him again and again, tears welling in his eyes at the magnificence of this joining.  Words--even whispered names--faded to syllables and finally to pleading, incoherent moans.  Duo's hands fisted in the sheets, his arms thrown back over his head, his jackknifed body arching against Heero, constricting around him, his seed spilling out into the hollow of his belly.


The sight, the feel--Heero's world exploded all at once, his aching body finding release inside the glorious boy beneath him.  Colours swam before his eyes, he screamed Duo's name desperately, immersed in a frantic haze of emotion that left him collapsed against his new lover's chest, gasping for breath.


"Well?" A smug, sleepy, sated voice whispered in his ear as long fingers stroked through his hair.  "I trust you're not disappointed?"  Some distant part of Heero's brain that was still at least observing noted a touch of apprehension in that warm voice.


Heero's body, being in control of things for a little while longer, conspired with his heart, and he started babbling.   Body was well aware that Heero's brain might never present it with this opportunity again, and it was determined to get everything out while it had a chance.  "Yes.  Yes.  Everything  I wanted it to be, Duo--" He pushed himself up just enough to meet that violet gaze.  "You enjoyed it too, didn't you?" A touch of awkward nervousness there, that only grew as he continued.  "I love you.  Do you--do you love me, Duo?"


Mild disbelief, amusement, tenderness, joy--they flickered across Duo's face in rapid succession.  "Idiot, Heero," he whispered thickly, wrapping his arms around Heero as if by holding him close he could merge them into a single entity.  "Don't you know yet I've never loved anybody else?"


Heero's body, brain, and heart all reached a very simple consensus, as he kissed his life into that soft, willing mouth.  They would all belong to Duo, from now until eternity.


It would take at least that long to fulfill every fantasy they were capable of imagining.